Yikes! Lawrence KS: SCVU (Special Canine Victim’s Unit), Iowa City IA, election night giggery!

Howdy from da road!
Currently we are blaring on down I-74 East blasting early era Ministry as we are known to do. Gettin all geared up for our gig at the White Rabbit in Indianapolis tonight.
Allyson & I awoke yesterday at Steve & Bridgette’s pad in Lawrence KS to some shocking and disturbing news. Ben went on a murderous rampage the night before and attacked their one year old rescue doggie Wally! Just joking. Wally had snuck into Ben’s luggage and inhaled four adult chocolate chip cookies causing panic and some major barfage. Wally kept them up most of the night, and after throwing up for a while collapsed paralyzed, essentially in a k-hole. By morning Wally was on the mend, we turned Ben in to authorities, and are doing the rest of the tour with a drum machine. Seriously!
No really, the three of us hit the road towards Iowa City where we were booked at Gabe’s. Since Ben’s pops & stepmom live in Des Moines so dropped Ben off at Perkins Family Restaurant™ for lunch, and Al n I killed time at the Merle Hay Mall. Two full new Hot Topic wardrobes later, we picked up Ben. When we met Tuttle’s family his Dad Steve said goodbye to Al & I with an accurate “Bye Ethel! Bye Adrienne!”. Up next, Iowa City!

Our Iowa City show had only recently been confirmed so we were pleasantly surprised by the A-1 treatment we got from Joe Derderian & Doug Roberson who hooked us up with the awesome show at Gabe’s. There were two local bands, Acoustic Guillotine & Tanks on the bill, as well as Baltimore’s Room Runner. Our nice bartender Seth fixed me up with a delectable Hennessy & tap OJ with a splash of sodie. The mood was spirited and mildly tense as the room was anticipating a win for the ‘Bamanator ©. Allyson was so literally spirited that she ordered not one but TWO shots of tequila, which would lead her to feel Wally’s pain from the previous night – more on that later. Not an intellectual decision eh?!
The highlight of the set was Tanks. A local band that only play about once a year, they had a dedicated following pumped for them to play. They sounded like Jesus Lizard with a splash of Cypress Hill, a fresh mix. The singer wore a cat in the hat style rasta hat with long black Al Jorgensen style dreads attached. He played barefoot so the visuals smoked! The smoke machine smoked! There was a nice sample played at the end of every jam of a dude jazzily singing the words “smoke weed everyday” followed by a screaming loud heavy bong rip noise. 😎.
We headed back to the hotel in Coralville Iowa. We stayed at the fiercely patriotic Heartland Inn, which prominently displayed a larger than life Hawk dressed up as Lady Liberty Statue out front. (See pic)
We scarfed down our leftover Thai food and crashed almost immediately.
I awoke up around 5am to hear Allyson shuffling about, later on to find out that she was actually just vomiting about.
6am rolled around to a cool car alarm GOING OFF AT VOLUME EIGHT MILLION which was nice. At about two minutes in I peaked out the hotel window out of mild van safety concern to discover an elderly man standing behind the alarm tripped car right outside our window just staring at his keys, then at his car, then back at his keys. He eventually figured it out, so we had that going for us.
We slept in for another few hours and then Allyson forced a hotel maid to give her two donuts, then later asked for a bagel. Then a banana for health (#classy).
Then we leisurely made our way onto ye old dusty highway headed for Indiana, home state of Izzy Stradlin, #1 Kewl Dewd.

What cool new tales will we have for you tomorrow? Will Allyson scarf many more piles of garbage food? Will I slappa da bass so hard that one of my strings will break? Will Ben ever forgive himself for killing* Wally?
Stay tewned fwiends!


Yassur Erinfat

* killing = not ACTUALLY™ killing
























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